I Won’t Let It Out
I beg you, listen to me. Probably my story will seem mad to you. Nobody will believe me evidently, but I must tell it to someone. Now I am writing these lines and horror leaned above my shoulder and whispers approvingly on my ear.
I ceased to be afraid of this whisper long ago. The fear had gone, leaving behind it strong fatigue and feeling of a full hopelessness. I think, he wants that I told you about it. And maybe he doesn’t care at all.
It is very sad to be lonely. Nobody will seek you if you suddenly disappear. Nobody but him will hear quiet whisper in the silence of an empty apartment. Nobody will notice how shadows are strengthen in the corners. Too dark shadows, too... alive shadows.
I belong to those class of people who are never alone in the company of oneself. I had never wearied of loneliness, until now. And then everything went wrong way.
At first, it became rather gloomy in my apartment.... Lamps couldn't completely drove away the darkness. There was such a feeling as if the power source of all lamps decreased twice. I wrote it off for an insufficient voltage level in the power supply network. As it turned to be, I did it in vain.
Then sounds started growing dull. No, they didn't disappear. They simply... receded into the background. You know how the nature fades before the strong thunder-storm? It is impossible to hear birds singing, or grasshoppers chirring. You can hear ringing silence only. The presentiment of approaching disaster was aggravated by the eternal twilight reigning in my house. I simply didn't pay to it due attention being an inveterate atheist and skeptic. I took everything for granted.
My regular world reeled when I heard a whisper. At first, it seemed as a rustle rather, as if the wind played with fallen-down foliage. It was hardly audible, imperceptible, as if someone being immensely far heaved a deep sigh. Then I was frightened, I was strongly frightened, but it was late.
Than I began dealing memory blackouts. I could sit at the table, and then find myself, being hidden in a corner, and shaken here and there aimlessly or being spread on a floor in a pose of Da Vinci person, staring at a ceiling.
What was the vilest, is that I felt someone's hidden presence behind my shoulder permanently. I felt easy contact of the cold invisible hands embracing my neck, and the next memory blackout. Soon I felt an easy palm on my shoulder constantly.
I felt I was a doll. I was a doll in someone’s... or something’s hands. Here it pulls me by the threads and I do everything that it likes.
And than the silent rustle turned into whisper and started breaking up to separate words. I understood something, something remained a riddle for me.
Nevertheless, I could hear and understand a lot of things from what it said to me. Imagine that the loneliness does not simply attract something otherworldly. Imagine that it is capable to pull out something from your customary world, as the strong magnet does.
And now imagine all gamma of feelings of the living creature who had fallen out of his reality and got to absolutely new world. It is our world. It is too bright, too noisy.
You are frightened, you are angry. Moreover, you are enraged from your own powerlessness, from impossibility to return back. Being connected to a creature from this noisy and bright world you are starting to change an environment according to your wishes, beginning from trifles.
The moment you began feeling comfortable, the time comes to show you teeth. The purpose is to revenge by the only possible way: to capture the control over this feeble body and...
What was it going to do when it would completely seize me, I couldn't sort out. The whisper fastened as if the speaker was overflowed by feelings. I sorted out only that it flares with hatred towards me. And I could understand it.
The next memory blackout was the most awful. I regained consciousness at night, I was in the middle of the street though the last thing I remembered – I was preparing a dinner for myself and it was early evening. My fingers were soiled in something... disgusting, and my face kept happy expression of a naughty boy who has just tortured a cat.
I can't stand it any longer. I don't know what will it do the next time. Won’t I regain consciousness with the blood-stained hands over a fresh corpse? Today I made the decision. I won't let it out.
The loop fitted on a hook from the removed chandelier is moving gradually. Hissing doesn't cease for a second, it seems that soon the blood will go from my ears.
I will leave it in our world without the body, which is a power source and a peculiar anchor for him. Now it is the only way to escape from tenacious paws and to kill it.
Yes, I understood a lot of things during our stimulated neighborhood.
All I had to do is to tighten a loop on a neck and jump off from a chair.
I won’t let it out.